Logan Levkoff is a sexologist, and author of the eBook How to Have Sex With Your Wife. He writes that many people are bamboozled by the flamboyant and ridiculously frequent sex scenes on TV and in movies; not even an Olympic athlete could keep up with the fantastic gymnastics and orgies that are scripted with a straight face, he claims. When a normal couple attempt to emulate what they’ve seen in the media the result is usually a vast disappointment, leading to low self-esteem and a bitter, even cynical viewpoint about love making.
“People don’t talk about the fact that it’s likely that in an odd position you’ll pass gas or the love of your life will take you in his arms and have bad breath” inveighs sex therapist Isadora Alman. A man may think he’s Rudolph Valentino, but he comes across more like Archie Bunker. Alman says we should not get our love making ideas from the media.
Levkoff tells couples that if they treat each other with respect and never try to force anything on each other they can have a satisfying time exploring each other’s bodies and psyches, without insult or injury. Always ask ahead of time if you want to try something new, and if you want to ask your partner to stop doing something, pick a time to ask when you are both relaxed and rested.
“Sometimes talking can be sexier than action!” says Alman.